I know I usually write novels but this post is short and sweet.
I was riding the subway last night when some I suddenly started hearing yelling and the whole train was looking toward the other end of the car. New York always got some craziness going on inside the subway so I thought to myself, "What now?" An older looking man (possibly Dominican?) gets up from his seat in a frenzy. I couldn't see the man who was yelling at him but I sure as hell could hear him. He sounded old and grumpy. Here's a sound bite "Go back to your country...Where were you born? You're not an American. Go back." and of course, "Are you going to blow up the train?" I thought to myself, "Great more ignorance in the world." I wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised. Then in the midst of the old man screaming and the Latino man shaking his head in disgust and clearly agitated. I got up from my seat since my stop was next. I was closer to the whole scene but still couldn't see the man. A white middle aged woman with a stupid ass hat suddenly comes zooming past me to say something. I thought she was going to spit out some self-righteous sh*t, condemning his ignorance. Instead here's a soundbite from her, "_____, I know you... You need to go to the doctor and get checked out. You have Alzheimer... You need help before you get yourself killed!!" Then she went back to her pole.
As I got off the train I felt a little guilty. I judged the dude without knowing the full story. Poor old man's not right in the head and it's not his fault. I felt like God just retaught the whole train old lesson- not to prejudge people. Even when people are spewing hateful BS, you should have compassion ala MLK, Ghandi & oh yeah Jesús.... Maybe you think I'm pushing it by saying show love and compassion for evil ass f*ckers.Don't mind me I'm just having a relapse to the days when I wanted to be a Buddhist.
So apparently T.I.'s out of jail already??! T.I. is out on $2 million bond put up by both him and Atlantic records (good thing he's a chart topper or they would have left his ass in prison).
December 22, 2009 -- The rapper TI was released from Arkansas Federal Prison today (December 22)...
Originally sentenced to one year and one day in prison after trying to buy a few machine guns and a couple of machine guns silencers in 2007, the Atlanta Rapper could have been in jail for up to 10 years. In March 2009, Clifford Harris Jr. (a.k.a TI) admitted guilt to weapons violations and was given a year sentence for his cooperation. This happened as part of a plea agreement that also included a $100,000 fine and a promise to complete 1,000 hours of community service.
I'm a fan T.I. and in true Che Nazario fashion, very anti-Prison Industrial Complex. However, for someone who could have have served 10 yrs in jail, he got off so extra light. Damn I wish I was a rich celebrity. smh.
Btw, check out the toothless dude in the last pic- LMAO!! Click on the title of the post to see the pics larger.
In this day and age people know each other’s whole life story and have only seen each other once before starting a connection via facebook, myspace, text, or bbm. Yet, expect to be treated like somebody’s something (smh). You have friends with benefits, which is different than jump-off’s, and not to be mistaken for the boo. If you’re really luck you might make it to wifey which doesn’t always mean you’re the girlfriend (i.e. committed, monogamous, and claimed). It is more likely to hear I’m “talking” to someone rather than I’m “dating” someone. There are so many technicalities and mixed messages. It’s hard out here for a pimp, indeed.
So I and my friend “Polly” (I laughed for about a good 30 seconds behind her code name and she knows why) have been discussing what exactly constitutes a “date” for a long time. She’s a firm believer that ambiance (we’re expanding people’s vocabulary here) i.e. setting, mood, atmosphere, vibe is the determining factor. Now what the h-e- double hockey sticks does that mean? The following are a couple examples of hints for the confused and clueless about whether or not when you and person “x” hang out, it is or is not a date:
- They accept GWorld*? It’s not a date. - Your order your food and then sit down… it’s not a date - There are more than two people on the “date”…. Umm, no sorry.
- The restaurant must have cloth table napkins for it to be a date. - A candle on the table? Okay, a date. - The other person pays…. Yep, a date.
For clarification purposes, these indicators are for the first few dates & not for people who’ve been dating for a little while. Example, Applebees works once you’ve established a foundation of whatever label you so choose. A date in no way has to be expensive. There are restaurant that are nice and cute with reasonable places that aren’t chain restaurants like Friday’s. Creative dates are the best. A trip to the Zoo or a walk on the waterfront followed by an ice cream run is freakin’ adorable. Courting girls is a lost art if you ask me. I think Men these days don’t figure it out until they’re in the later half of their twenties. It’s a shame. Some people think they’re the exception, however most are the rule (watch “He’s Just not that Into You”). I’ll leave cyberspace with a few gender-neutral tib-its.
- No discussing politics or religion - Don’t be stingy with the compliments - No “you remind me of…” - Don’t have me meet anyone in your life (no friends, parent, siblings, co-workers,etc. I’m not trying to be a part of your life yet) - Be on time - Don’t be needy - Don’t monopolize the conversation
YESSSSSS!!! The semester is over and I can breathe. Having nothing to do never felt so good lol. I still wish I was in Costa Rica but, hey, everything happens for a reason. I have a new blog post ready to go, however I wanted to take the time out to readdress an old post. "...Brand New..." was written in a manner that wasn't as rude or out of pocket as i was feeling but was nonetheless written out of anger. Ironically, that week I made amends with three different but all close & important friends. None of it was intended and it wasn't until I thought back on the week that I realized how crazy of week it was for friendships.
The friend that inspired the first post came to my room the following day to apologize. I don't think they could tell you why I was ever so mad at them in the first place. Yet, I forgave them. I personally flip-flop between thinking he's a a typical butt-head and the notion that he's just still young mentally at times. You can call that me making excuses/ justifications, whatever.
Three days after feeling like the first friendship was in the direction of getting back on track, another friend met me at my house to resolve our problem(s). This individual did not do anything to hurt me directly, however they hurt someone close to me which they promised they wouldn't. I vouched for him and ended up feeling like a fool and questioning his character. I never had intentions of deadin' the friendship, i just needed to give him a piece of my mind. Long story short, he was so terrified to speak to me (complete opposite of his character)that it pacified any anger I had towards him. It's crazy to think that he thought I was going to dead an 8 year friendship that quick (then again he's seen me do it before). When you love someone you're there for them even when they mess up.
The third reconciliation occurred that Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. In middle school & high school I had one friend who was my partner in crime. We never fought about anything. Then, senior year rolled around.... After we worked through our first big fight (which almost resulted in me pushing her into the train tracks lol) we were at odds again. For the last two years the friendship felt different. Promises to be friends forever seemed to be premature and naïve wishful thinking. That week we made plans to go out to dinner and by the end of our 5 hour long conversation (that extended past closing time, then past Starbucks closing and ended in a 24 hr McDonalds lol) I felt as though she and I never missed a beat as we divulged all our personal secretes and laughed our butts off. I guess I haven't changed much in the last 2-3 years because she understood me exactly.
Some friendships are like supernovas- a massive and bright but quick explosion of a dying star. Truthfully, most friendships are transitory and meant for a specific time and/or place (ala summer camp). There are those few friends that stay with us for years and years. My mother has three best friends aside from cousins. One was a neighbor that she meet when she was fourteen. Another (her truest & closest) was a schoolmate from the third grade. The third is the second's younger sister. I've always been jealous/inspire (funny how that works) by my mom's friendships. Each one has served as a different example of what a life-long friendship entails. The first friend I described had undergone some rough patches with my mother that included a 2 year stint of not speaking. The second woman and my mother almost never have disagreements or get on each others' nerves. The third friend was the annoying little sister that turned out to be mad cool... Some friendships take MAD work and get worse before they get better. Some friendships are easy and natural. Then, there are great friendships with people who you have known for a while but you never suspected how amazing or deep of a connection you could have. The "moral of this story" is that relationships are messy, take work, and then still might not work out- you just have to be the best person you can be and attract people with that same mentality.
When I'm in a rotten mood humor is probably the best remedy (more so than any advice or words of encouragement). My friends over in Lancaster put me onto Derrick Comedy this past Thursday. I'm a fan of the Jerry sketch so I've included that particular video below. However, click on to the title of this post to check out their website.
"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." William Arthur Ward
I have a very high emotional tolerance. My feelings don't get hurt often. For almost my entire life I kept people at an emotional distance so that they could never hurt me; to say I am a guarded person is an under statement. I have been very proud of myself since I've gotten to college. I've really allowed myself to open up to people and thus make some very good and genuine friends in a short amount of time. None of my current close friends and I have ever been in a serious disagreement because every time I ever got into it with one of my friends, I cut them out of my life.
I tried to express my discontent to one of my current friends and I kept feeling like they weren't understanding. To say 'I'm hurt" is impossible. (lol) So my discontent grew to passive aggressiveness. I found myself reverting to my old way of handling myself and emotionally and physically distancing myself to the point of casually saying hi and bye to someone who I used to consider one of my bff's. Last weekend I began to feel bad. If this is my bff I should be mature and value our friendship enough to work past whatever I was feeling. It's easier to be mad than to admit my feelings were hurt. I attempted to work past all the stupid ish but my "friend" was busy so I offered to stop by their dorm another day. Earlier tonight I found myself once again in the same place/same time as this individual. I approached this person with nothing but amenity however I got a cold response. Fair considering how I had been acting toward this person. However, Twice- that's two different times- I approached this person tonight trying to put my pride aside and be willing to work toward gaining my friend back. Now how is someone supposed to act when you ask someone "can we be friends again, Can we talk" and they shake their head no and literally push you the hell out the way to the point that you have to actively work to regain your balance. So what did I do? I went from saying I don't want to drink tonight to steady taking shots- I was livid.
I truly feel as though I've lost a good friend and it sucks. However, it makes me appreciate the other really close friends I still have left. I have made some great friends and you know, sometimes the people you would have done anything for prove to have the biggest man-gina and PMS worse than you... *sigh* I'm friendly with the world but shit I can't give just anybody the title of 'friend'. I have a lot of pride and I don't readily put myself out there. Can I be blamed for falling back on old habits?? I say forget this ish- whoever can't get in step with me can kiss my behind- I don't do vulnerable. Like my Stepfather says, "When I die, bury me upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass."
Now that I have blurted out all my thoughts, let me find clarity in the situation and constructively articulate "the moral of the story". This in not the first discord of this type I've been caught up in. Romantic relationships, friendships, and even family sometimes are all similar in principle. Relationships are all about meeting people half way. If another person doesn"t have enough consideration for you to put in as much effort as you, then you are left with an unbalanced relationship that is bound to thus be rocky. It's frustrating to interact with someone who you feel is less invested then you are. That is probably what is so hard about my current friend situation- my other friends have been saying from observation they don't understand how I could consider him such a good friend because he hasn't been a great friend. They have told me for a while that they believe I am undervalued in relation to this person. I don't know why I was willing to open up so quickly but because I did I don't want to give up on our friendship. (How many people can say they've so much as seen me cry?) One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is being more attached to what you've invested than what that person is adding to your life. You should have enough self respect to let go despite whatever you have invested because in life we have to cut our losses from time to time. I had a point I wanted to end on but I forgot it. I'll say this much- if I pretend I don't care about someone it's either because they aren"t worth caring about or because I'm mirroring the same sentiments I receive. I'm back on my Fabulous ish- My attitude is celibate; I don't give a F**k!
I have been raving about Trey Songz for a minute now. Today my friend texted me after watching his I invented sex video to let me know she understands why now. This video is just extra sexy. Why aren't there guys like that at my school??? For your enjoyment....
I also happen to be a fan of Nicki Minaj. She is just the baddest b**ch. Luv her!! So of course I was listening to Robin Thicke's new song "Shakin' It For Daddy" which features the Harijuku Barbie when I should have been studying. Listen to it- it packs heats for sure.
I am a Junior in college and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I learned to wear high heels. The end of High School meant Prom, senior dinner and a bunch of big events, galas and balls. I found this beautiful BCBG dress to wear to prom and one of my mom's best friends told me "That dress is fly, you better not wear flats even if it kills you." I sucked it up and got these cute Guess pumps that I made it through almost all of prom without taking off. By the grace of God I went from wearing nothing but sneakers to wearing stilettos in a year. My heel game is fierce; however, my first love will always be kicks.
I'm not the biggest sneakerhead but living outside of New York, I definitely could claim that and no one would disagree. I love the scent of fresh jordans that are so crisp it almost makes you sad to wear them. One of my friends at school is also from Harlem and (god bless her soul) girl went bougie on me and she has no shame in her game. She told me I need to grow up. I was told by the time I become a senior, I have to retire my sneakers.
I've already traded in the North Face Book bag for a leather canvas backpack and I freeze my butt off in winter to wear a peacoat but how can I give up my sneakers. I know I can't wear jordans at 30. But it might just be too soon. On the block it's not an issue but at college and interning in a corporate law firm over the summer, sneakers are gym wear.... Does wearing a blazer with dunks qualify as a happy medium, an adequate compromise? I switch between Fly & Fresh and Grown & Sexy on any given day. It's only natural that my style will evolve but all I can think about currently is how I plan on pinching the already tight college budget for the new Jordan 60+ Atlanta Hawk Colorway. (They're in my sorority colors!) I got a Blackberry Tour a week ago and that was all in the name of being grown and professional, so for now I will just have to keep an even balance sheet.
Now this blog post was not an original idea, it was suggested by someone at my job. The concept is very simple. I believe in being faithful and honest and all that good stuff. HOWEVER!! Should any of the following men come into my life, YOU WILL GET CHEATED ON.
Will Demps No words. He makes me speechless.
Michael Ealy Ever since I saw Barbershop, I had to know homeboy's name. My linesister performed with him this summer and it was one of the few times in my life I knew what it was like to be jealous seeing as how that's an emotion I fortnately don't naturally indulge in. Now had I not been working/ gone home for the summer my ass would have got to cheer her on and feast on all that is Michael Ealy.
Anthony Romeo Santos Romeo is the lead singer of this mega star Bachata group called Aventura for those not up on the Latin Music scene. He also happens to be the future father of my children. He's half Puerto Rican (woot, woot!!) and Domincan from he Bronx. He's got that typical BX Latino swagger I miss and love. One minute he's in jeans and a sweater and next he's got on a skin tight tee and dress slacks like the only Dominican.
Pitbull His songs have me convinced he's a freak.
Lil Wayne Lil Wayne is the least attractive and he's short (Love me a tall ass man). However, he is on this list for ne simple reason. I'm a lady (minus my pension for cursing, I blame my grandmother) so I won't say certain things directly but I sure as hell can insinuate. He has a song in which he goes LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA......
There are some fads I refuse to jump on board with- like Twitter. Then there are some that I fight but eventually have to accept. I have a group of friends who have decided that it is okay to wear bow ties. It has really been an NYC/tri-state occurance for a little while now. I go to school in DC- so at school only one individual subjects me to the madness of bow-ties, crazy colors & skinny jeans. I would sit there and with all my might try to convince him as he picked out his clothes that he could do without the bow-tie especially with a casual outfit.
The bow-tie thing drove me insane. Unfortunately it got worse for me when I went home for the summer. Here I thought one individual was merely on their next level fashion ish (like Andre 3000 meets Pharell). SMDH. I started to notice a whole bunch of my guy friends sporting bow-ties. To the point that I met up with them one evening after they had gone out to dinner and all but one guy in the group had on a bow-tie! B Rob's was even on a chain. I questioned them as to why (why, oh why?)and never received a satisfactory answer.
That same individual who I go to school with happens to be one of my bff's at school. His birthday was back in August and what do you think I considered getting him? Yeah, you guessed it, a Bow-Tie from BK Circus. I didn't actually end up getting him a gift (opps) But the thought was there- Now I'm supporting the trend. If you can't beat them join them? Ha.
There is no one experience more definitive to the human condition than Death. It might sound morbid and depressing but it's true. Two days ago my aunt lost one of her in-laws. His name was Nishit (knee-she). Nishit had Lupus and recently suffered from an infection that claimed his life at the tender age of 28. After slipping into a coma, he decided to return home to Portugal for the first time in four years to be with his mother. I called my aunt to see how she was doing and it broke my heart to hear her so dejected. Her husband/my uncle flew to Portugal to be with his family and my aunt is home alone. My aunt is not that much older than me and is more of an older sister. My grandmother's passing a few months ago compounded by a recent robbery and now Nishit's death has shaken her faith and lowered her spirits. I teared up during our conversation. It hurt me to hear be so negative toward life. It's understandable why she would question God's plan for her and for those in her life like Nishit. She wondered why those who do good seem to suffer the most.
I don't pretend to have all the answers or the most positive outlook on life. However, after being depressed because of my grandmother's death to the point of it manifesting physically, I learned to see life in a way that allows me to be at peace. My grandmother was the key figure in my development as a person and I feel robbed; she passed when I still needed her. Yet, most people don't get a chance to know their grandmother. I had nineteen beautiful years during which I was able to learn from her. We can't dwell on the time we don't have with people. We can only be thankful for the time God did grant us. Death is the only thing in life that is absolutely guaranteed. Therefore, the people in our lives (and our own for that matter) are on loan. They aren't ours to guard selfishly.
Nishit had begun recently to turn his life around for the better. I listen to my aunt's exasperated voice lament over how it wasn't fair. He deserved to live longer. Why should other people who do bad or cause others pain continue to live? I believe firmly that we all have a purpose in life. Nishit could have died sooner but, God kept him around long enough for him to turn his life around and return to Portugal to be with his family. Some people accomplish their purpose in 20 years and some take 80 years.
My aunt was half regretful that she chose to move to Florida when she got married. She told me she should have stayed and been with the family, stood to look after my grandmother. My grandmother was not sick for a long time before she died (only a month), my aunt could not have known she was going to pass. Hindsight is 20/20 but we act according to what makes sense for us at the moment. We can only do the best we can and have faith that things will turn out alright. No one should regret bettering themselves. I am the only other family member besides my aunt to leave the comfort of New York. They don't know but my family makes me feel guilty sometimes for so adamantly pursuing my career ambitions in so much that I'm not around very much. What I do is not just for me, it's for my entire family so that we can go beyond the boundaries of the typical ghetto Puerto Rican experience in NYC. You have to be a little selfish at times in order to better yourself. I want my aunt to know that I am proud of everything she has accomplished, which I know she wouldn't have if she had stayed in NY to be the dutiful daughter. Her recent bad luck is not a punishment, it simply makes her more amazing for all that she has done in spite of the rain clouds hanging over her these days.
My grandmother, Nishit and all the other who have passed keep company with angels now. Their influence on our lives are gifts for which to be grateful. Cry and be sad but also smile. Smile because you remember the times spent, the lessons learned, the inside jokes, the warm embraces. The memories held close are ours. All the people who come in and out of our lives each leave an imprint and for some of them we are the better for it. Carpe Diem.
Hello Cyberspace. It's been a long while since I've posted anything. My friend mentioned that she checked it yesterday and was disappointed there wasn't a new post and I promised I'd post something today. Let me start off by saying my ass is most definitely not in Costa Rica. Three days before I was supposed to fly out, some unforeseen circumstances left me in a shit hole. One of the concequences was that I was unable to study abroad. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason- in divine order. If there was any doubt to this- within 48hrs of finding out that I would not be able to go abroad, I had employment, a place to live and was registered for classes at my university's campus. My dad also had 3 days off (he works 2 jobs and so this had to be divine intervention)and was able to drive me and all my stuff down here. The representative from the university I spoke with was so surprised at how well I handled the situation but what is the use crying over spilled milk? When life gets chaotic- assess the situation and ask what can I do to rectify this? Trust me there was no way I was staying in Harlem or taking a semester off.
Now like any true New Yorker, I think New York is the best place on earth (or maybe within the US anyway). I always liked DC but somehow I've come to realize I really love this city and school. Being in school is way more fun than sitting in an office from 9am-6pm and having scheduled bathroom breaks. I'm a nerd so I don't even mind the school work that much; when you choose your own classes what your being taught is relevant and interesting. Since school has started, I've settled into another year here with ease. My dorm is on the money and even though books, stuff for my dorm, and what-not are expensive, my pockets are still full lol. As usual I'm really busy because I don't know how to just sit still- I'm planning events, stepping and strolling (yeah, I'm greek) and most importantly earning a 4.0 for the semester. Yo, I even got hit by a 18 wheeler that made an illegal turn. I had the whole side passenger wind shield and the front wind shield fall on me, frame broken in y todo. My life did not flash before my eyes, which was disappointing. All I could think was STOP!!!! that damn trunk just kept coming closer and closer to my face. I had a few shards of glass in my knee and scratches on my legs from all the glass that fell on me but was otherwise alright. Let me just say, God loves me. I don't know why but he stays looking out lmao.
Yep, Naz is back in the DMV (which is short for the DC, MD, & VA area not department of motor vehicles). I'm going to end this post with a crash course on DC from a NYC perspective.
- Metro: It's not 24 hrs a day- crazy I know. You also have to use your fair card to get in and out the metro. And the fair goes according to how far you go. By far however, the craziest thing about the metro is that it is extremely clean!! If you've ever riden the subway in New York then you understand why it's so novel to me. -Taxi: They have a fee for everything! They charge for each additional person, for your luggage- everything! During my freshman year they switched to a meter system which I appreciate. But, homies almost never get a tip. I feel as though it's included in those ridiculous surchargers. - Hair: There is no such thing as a $15 wash and set from a Dominican Hair Salon - Nails: $30 for a pedicure- $30!! I can get a mani-pedi for $20 on 116 street. - Pupusas: The majority of Latinos in NY are Puerto Rican like myself or Dominican. In DC instead there are mostly El Salvadorians and they make these things called Pupusas. They are sooo good. - Nightlife: I kinda prefer the low- key campus dorm parties at the moment or Greek parties but LOVE is the premier night club if that's what you're looking for. - Music: DC has this genre of music called GoGo if you watch ABDC then you know what I'm talking about. I hated it when I first came to DC and with the exception of 3 songs, I still do. Beating your feet ain't got nothing on Harlem/NY when we gets lite. - History: This city has so much history it's amazing. I stood outside the white house chanting on the night Obama was elected and got to go to his Inauguration. I jog past the Lincoln or the Washington monument when I go running. It's so diverse and amazing.
The originally intent of this blog was or it to be a travel blog. I got the idea from a friend who went to Brazil for 6 months and wrote a little for my university's multicultural student newspaper. I figured a blog would be a great way to keep track of my experiences as well as share them with others. While the thought of studying abroad still freaks me out (check first blog post) it is happening. In exactly 10 days I leave for Costa Rica. I will be staying with a family in San Jose and taking classes at the local university. I am participating in a special International Development program. Four of my classes will be based on issues of Human Rights, Justice, and other related development topics, while the fifth will be a Spanish class. Now this is going to sound weird. I speak fluent Spanish but avoid speaking it whenever possible. It's an insecurity thing like people who speak fluent English but have thick accents so they avoid having to say much. Hopefully, Costa Rica will cure me of that. I blame my parents who didn't raise me speaking Spanish. I use my Spanish only once a week (minus the curses and random Spanglish phrases).
I already received the info on my host family. My happy go lucky ass used to be extra excited about studying abroad and put no preference for everything. They even asked if we minded a widow- I thought "aww I can keep her company". lol. The only thing I requested was no smoking and that the house be close to the university. I can't go from cutting across Kogan plaza to an hour of travel time. My family consist of a 30 year old man and a 66 year old woman. I imagine it's a man and his mother. As a Latino I don't find it odd that the mom would live in the house. We don't exactly believe in Nursing Homes, ya dig? it's kind of disappointing however that there aren't any kids in the house. I really want to volunteer while I'm in Costa Rica so I'll just find something with kids I guess. Assuming the family doesn't try to impose a curfew (haven't had one since 15) it should be all good. Oh, and she better cook good food. Meals are included and my broke ass can't afford to buy food.
Speaking of money- lets talk budget. The government took a shit load more of my check than I had anticipated now my whole budget is off. Not to mention I'm going to Loehman's where they have these Gucci boots for cheap. omg, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it... but yeah I have to bring traveler's checks or figure out what these ATM fees are gonna look like. This is one of my top motivators for choosing Costa Rica- the dollar is stronger than the colon(?).
I'll end with a few tips my hard-headed behind has learned in getting ready to study abroad....
- Get your visa documents early so your not shitting bricks like me - travel light (how the hell am I gonna do this idk!). Make sure you leave plenty of space for all the things you'll buy along the way - Get a webcam. It's cheaper and better than calling cards - Have a passport, a valid passport - Book your ticket using studentuniverse.com It's cheaper than expedia, orbitz, all of that.. - leave a copy of all relevant documents with someone you trust stateside. - Get a Visa (pr mastercard). I refuse to live like those crazy backpackers that go through Europe and Latin America with breadcrumbs in their pockets. I want to climb mountains, go horseback riding, travel to remote beaches, not starve- the usual. This way if I run out of $$ I can go on living happily until I come home and have to pay off the bill....
Since I've scrapped my plan to run away to an undisclosed location (dead serious)- the next post will be from Costa Rica (unless I feel the need to rant on something).
Deuces, Naz.
P.s. Congrats if you actually read this whole thing.
The depth of my emotions is immeasurable. If tears fall, they are of the greatest joy. Where I am from hope is a luxury women like Sotomayor continue to allow us to afford.
The night Obama was elected me and my roommates ran over to the White House (about 5 blocks from our dorm) and rallied with hundreds of other students and DC residents. But that cannot compare to the overwhelming sense of pride I feel at this moment. I am a young New York born Puerto Rican whose first home was Wagner projects. Every obstacle that I have had to face and will continue to face to provide a better life for me and my family only seem that much smaller now. I get the opportunity to see a person who reflects me by both her heritage and gender sit on the high court.(?!?)I congratulate her and every Latina making strides to reach the pinnacle of success in which ever career field they occupy. On the flipside however, I can am a firm believer in progress. Progress only comes with hope is balanced with reality. Latinos in this country need to not only be strong numerically but also in their unity and their social standing. I won't preach too much but its like I wrote in my "Product of My Environment" piece- I come home and it is as if time froze, they're standing on the same corners and chasing the same hoes I see too much stupidity and apathy. Ima need yall to get it together. And those that do have it together need to not judge but remember to stay true & real by helping to uplift the Latino community. Palabra.
Ain't this about some ..... a gunman identified as 48 year old George Sodini opened fire at a fitness center yesterday killing three women and then himself. He walked into an LA Fitness gym outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, turned off the lights and fired off 50 rounds, killing three women before killing himself Tuesday evening, police said. The tragic shooting a result of Sodini's hatred of women according to the note left behind in his gym bag?!? He had a blog with "details his loneliness and longing for a female companion -- and his growing rage at what he perceived as rejection by women".
Okay hold on. First off I really don't want to go to the gym tonight. Secondly, Are you serious N.A.S.(if you don't know what that means, ask) Lorena Bobitt and the lady with the hot grits didn't even go around killing random men- they got their own dudes. Homie should of took it up with his ex. And well yeah you kept getting rejected by women. Clearly you're crazy & deranged.
Deuces, Naz.
P.s. Why in the dark. If Ima shoot at some men in the gym Ima save the beautiful ones. Lord knows there are some sexy men at Ballys Fitness. Then again, they stay ruining my workout. The gym is the worse place to get hit on, when you're all tired and sweaty, I get annoyed. If I was looking for a nigga it wouldn't be at the gym.
My friend Ariel and fellow STB Intern put me on to the new Chris Rock movie. It's nothing like what he usually does (click on the tittle for the link). He has this funny yet insightful documentary coming out called "Good Hair" and ..... Where the hell was this movie when I wrote my 20 pg final seminar paper in the Spring? It was tittled- "PeloBueno, PeloMalo: Getting to the Root of the Matter". It chronicles the historic and cultural reasons behind the Dominican hair dresser phenomenon and Latinos and black people and hair and all that good ish. I took an amazing class with Professor Antonio Lopez called Black Cultures of the Americas. In a nutshell it was about how race/"blackness" is perceived in Latin America versus the US. In the US race is binary- black or white whereas in the Latin America, it is a fluid concept. Don't get caught calling a dark skinned person in LAm black- they might cut you. You're Indio or some other category. Brazil has got like 7 tipios. Now this was a critical theory class, which is like philosophy of pop culture, literature and history with a whole lot of big words and anything is a condition of a whole lot of shit all at once. Back to my paper (my A paper cough lol) I wrote about my struggles with my hair. It's a very Latino specific perspective but since everyone thinks I'm African-American I probably go through all the shit the people in Chris Rock's movie do- minus the weave. (I don't believe in weaves as a personal choice) My hair is od curly and my sister's is not. So my mom permed my hair growing up. In ninth grade I chopped off my hair and grew out my perm. Oh naturale. My hair is a lot of work to manage so I sympathize with black women even though they tell me I got good hair (tell that to my mom). Honestly, I haven't combed my hair in months. Sometimes I put gel in the front lol. I rock my hair curly during the summer and straight the rest of the year. When it's straight, I do it once and don't wrap it or much else- too much work- until its time to wash it. I bribe my roommates to do my hair for me or Sesen. lol. I say forget, women spend too much time trynna be barbie.
Okay so I had a near freak out because for the past few weeks I've been regretting my decision to travel abroad. I have wanted to study abroad for years! So naturally people were really confused why I suddenly changed my mind. My family doesn't travel much and with the exception of family on my dad's side who still live in Puerto Rico- they all live within a mile of me. When your entire immediate family lives within five blocks of you, you develop a sense that home will always be there. I traveled and left for extended periods of time without ever getting too homesick because everything and everyone was right where I left them. I don't do vulnerable so I haven't let any one person see just how hard my grandmother's death has been on me. It kind of had me all messed up in the game until recently. One of my faults in life is I can't not say "I'm fine" in any context even when I try unless pushed-if that makes sense. The point is I find myself suddenly homesick and my ass hasn't gone anywhere. I cling to people in a way that's highly ironic for my personality. being MIA for all of Spring semester doesn't exactly help either lol. I feel like I'm going to miss out by being away. Not that I think someone is going to die on me but damn I left home for school in January and a couple weeks later the closest person to me (my heart) was gone. BUT, too much is invested for me not to go, so fuck it. I cancelled my housing and I'm not registered for classes on campus so Costa Rica here I come...! In truth know I'll be loving it once I'm there, therefore I just have to figure out how to fit my life into just two suitcases..................
Allow me to reintroduce myself.....
My name is Naz. Some people call me Amanda but they seem to be far and few in-between these days so I accept that my name is now Naz (thanks Liz lol). Naz is from my last name but a little unknown secrete is that my last name is supposed to be Román. Either way, watch me as I build my empire. This deuce is wild.
