Okay so I had a near freak out because for the past few weeks I've been regretting my decision to travel abroad. I have wanted to study abroad for years! So naturally people were really confused why I suddenly changed my mind. My family doesn't travel much and with the exception of family on my dad's side who still live in Puerto Rico- they all live within a mile of me. When your entire immediate family lives within five blocks of you, you develop a sense that home will always be there. I traveled and left for extended periods of time without ever getting too homesick because everything and everyone was right where I left them. I don't do vulnerable so I haven't let any one person see just how hard my grandmother's death has been on me. It kind of had me all messed up in the game until recently. One of my faults in life is I can't not say "I'm fine" in any context even when I try unless pushed-if that makes sense. The point is I find myself suddenly homesick and my ass hasn't gone anywhere. I cling to people in a way that's highly ironic for my personality. being MIA for all of Spring semester doesn't exactly help either lol. I feel like I'm going to miss out by being away. Not that I think someone is going to die on me but damn I left home for school in January and a couple weeks later the closest person to me (my heart) was gone. BUT, too much is invested for me not to go, so fuck it. I cancelled my housing and I'm not registered for classes on campus so Costa Rica here I come...! In truth know I'll be loving it once I'm there, therefore I just have to figure out how to fit my life into just two suitcases..................
Deuces,
Naz.
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