An Old Lesson Revisted

I know I usually write novels but this post is short and sweet.

I was riding the subway last night when some I suddenly started hearing yelling and the whole train was looking toward the other end of the car. New York always got some craziness going on inside the subway so I thought to myself, "What now?" An older looking man (possibly Dominican?) gets up from his seat in a frenzy. I couldn't see the man who was yelling at him but I sure as hell could hear him. He sounded old and grumpy. Here's a sound bite "Go back to your country...Where were you born? You're not an American. Go back." and of course, "Are you going to blow up the train?" I thought to myself, "Great more ignorance in the world." I wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised. Then in the midst of the old man screaming and the Latino man shaking his head in disgust and clearly agitated. I got up from my seat since my stop was next. I was closer to the whole scene but still couldn't see the man. A white middle aged woman with a stupid ass hat suddenly comes zooming past me to say something. I thought she was going to spit out some self-righteous sh*t, condemning his ignorance. Instead here's a soundbite from her, "_____, I know you... You need to go to the doctor and get checked out. You have Alzheimer... You need help before you get yourself killed!!" Then she went back to her pole.

As I got off the train I felt a little guilty. I judged the dude without knowing the full story. Poor old man's not right in the head and it's not his fault. I felt like God just retaught the whole train old lesson- not to prejudge people. Even when people are spewing hateful BS, you should have compassion ala MLK, Ghandi & oh yeah Jesús.... Maybe you think I'm pushing it by saying show love and compassion for evil ass f*ckers.Don't mind me I'm just having a relapse to the days when I wanted to be a Buddhist.

Music: T.I. out of Jail

So apparently T.I.'s out of jail already??! T.I. is out on $2 million bond put up by both him and Atlantic records (good thing he's a chart topper or they would have left his ass in prison).

December 22, 2009 -- The rapper TI was released from Arkansas Federal Prison today (December 22)...

Originally sentenced to one year and one day in prison after trying to buy a few machine guns and a couple of machine guns silencers in 2007, the Atlanta Rapper could have been in jail for up to 10 years. In March 2009, Clifford Harris Jr. (a.k.a TI) admitted guilt to weapons violations and was given a year sentence for his cooperation. This happened as part of a plea agreement that also included a $100,000 fine and a promise to complete 1,000 hours of community service.

I'm a fan T.I. and in true Che Nazario fashion, very anti-Prison Industrial Complex. However, for someone who could have have served 10 yrs in jail, he got off so extra light. Damn I wish I was a rich celebrity. smh.

Btw, check out the toothless dude in the last pic- LMAO!! Click on the title of the post to see the pics larger.

Deuces,
Naz

It’s not a date…..

In this day and age people know each other’s whole life story and have only seen each other once before starting a connection via facebook, myspace, text, or bbm. Yet, expect to be treated like somebody’s something (smh). You have friends with benefits, which is different than jump-off’s, and not to be mistaken for the boo. If you’re really luck you might make it to wifey which doesn’t always mean you’re the girlfriend (i.e. committed, monogamous, and claimed). It is more likely to hear I’m “talking” to someone rather than I’m “dating” someone. There are so many technicalities and mixed messages. It’s hard out here for a pimp, indeed.

So I and my friend “Polly” (I laughed for about a good 30 seconds behind her code name and she knows why) have been discussing what exactly constitutes a “date” for a long time. She’s a firm believer that ambiance (we’re expanding people’s vocabulary here) i.e. setting, mood, atmosphere, vibe is the determining factor. Now what the h-e- double hockey sticks does that mean? The following are a couple examples of hints for the confused and clueless about whether or not when you and person “x” hang out, it is or is not a date:

- They accept GWorld*? It’s not a date.
- Your order your food and then sit down… it’s not a date
- There are more than two people on the “date”…. Umm, no sorry.


- The restaurant must have cloth table napkins for it to be a date.
- A candle on the table? Okay, a date.
- The other person pays…. Yep, a date.

For clarification purposes, these indicators are for the first few dates & not for people who’ve been dating for a little while. Example, Applebees works once you’ve established a foundation of whatever label you so choose.
A date in no way has to be expensive. There are restaurant that are nice and cute with reasonable places that aren’t chain restaurants like Friday’s. Creative dates are the best. A trip to the Zoo or a walk on the waterfront followed by an ice cream run is freakin’ adorable. Courting girls is a lost art if you ask me. I think Men these days don’t figure it out until they’re in the later half of their twenties. It’s a shame. Some people think they’re the exception, however most are the rule (watch “He’s Just not that Into You”). I’ll leave cyberspace with a few gender-neutral tib-its.

- No discussing politics or religion
- Don’t be stingy with the compliments
- No “you remind me of…”
- Don’t have me meet anyone in your life (no friends, parent, siblings, co-workers,etc. I’m not trying to be a part of your life yet)
- Be on time
- Don’t be needy
- Don’t monopolize the conversation


Deuces,

Naz

♥ Best Friends Forever ♥

YESSSSSS!!! The semester is over and I can breathe. Having nothing to do never felt so good lol. I still wish I was in Costa Rica but, hey, everything happens for a reason. I have a new blog post ready to go, however I wanted to take the time out to readdress an old post. "...Brand New..." was written in a manner that wasn't as rude or out of pocket as i was feeling but was nonetheless written out of anger. Ironically, that week I made amends with three different but all close & important friends. None of it was intended and it wasn't until I thought back on the week that I realized how crazy of week it was for friendships.

The friend that inspired the first post came to my room the following day to apologize. I don't think they could tell you why I was ever so mad at them in the first place. Yet, I forgave them. I personally flip-flop between thinking he's a a typical butt-head and the notion that he's just still young mentally at times. You can call that me making excuses/ justifications, whatever.

Three days after feeling like the first friendship was in the direction of getting back on track, another friend met me at my house to resolve our problem(s). This individual did not do anything to hurt me directly, however they hurt someone close to me which they promised they wouldn't. I vouched for him and ended up feeling like a fool and questioning his character. I never had intentions of deadin' the friendship, i just needed to give him a piece of my mind. Long story short, he was so terrified to speak to me (complete opposite of his character)that it pacified any anger I had towards him. It's crazy to think that he thought I was going to dead an 8 year friendship that quick (then again he's seen me do it before). When you love someone you're there for them even when they mess up.

The third reconciliation occurred that Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. In middle school & high school I had one friend who was my partner in crime. We never fought about anything. Then, senior year rolled around.... After we worked through our first big fight (which almost resulted in me pushing her into the train tracks lol) we were at odds again. For the last two years the friendship felt different. Promises to be friends forever seemed to be premature and naïve wishful thinking. That week we made plans to go out to dinner and by the end of our 5 hour long conversation (that extended past closing time, then past Starbucks closing and ended in a 24 hr McDonalds lol) I felt as though she and I never missed a beat as we divulged all our personal secretes and laughed our butts off. I guess I haven't changed much in the last 2-3 years because she understood me exactly.

Some friendships are like supernovas- a massive and bright but quick explosion of a dying star. Truthfully, most friendships are transitory and meant for a specific time and/or place (ala summer camp). There are those few friends that stay with us for years and years. My mother has three best friends aside from cousins. One was a neighbor that she meet when she was fourteen. Another (her truest & closest) was a schoolmate from the third grade. The third is the second's younger sister. I've always been jealous/inspire (funny how that works) by my mom's friendships. Each one has served as a different example of what a life-long friendship entails. The first friend I described had undergone some rough patches with my mother that included a 2 year stint of not speaking. The second woman and my mother almost never have disagreements or get on each others' nerves. The third friend was the annoying little sister that turned out to be mad cool... Some friendships take MAD work and get worse before they get better. Some friendships are easy and natural. Then, there are great friendships with people who you have known for a while but you never suspected how amazing or deep of a connection you could have. The "moral of this story" is that relationships are messy, take work, and then still might not work out- you just have to be the best person you can be and attract people with that same mentality.

Deuces,
Naz

Sometimes You Just Need A Good Laugh

When I'm in a rotten mood humor is probably the best remedy (more so than any advice or words of encouragement). My friends over in Lancaster put me onto Derrick Comedy this past Thursday. I'm a fan of the Jerry sketch so I've included that particular video below. However, click on to the title of this post to check out their website.

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." William Arthur Ward

Don't You Hate When People Act Brand New?!

I have a very high emotional tolerance. My feelings don't get hurt often. For almost my entire life I kept people at an emotional distance so that they could never hurt me; to say I am a guarded person is an under statement. I have been very proud of myself since I've gotten to college. I've really allowed myself to open up to people and thus make some very good and genuine friends in a short amount of time. None of my current close friends and I have ever been in a serious disagreement because every time I ever got into it with one of my friends, I cut them out of my life.

I tried to express my discontent to one of my current friends and I kept feeling like they weren't understanding. To say 'I'm hurt" is impossible. (lol) So my discontent grew to passive aggressiveness. I found myself reverting to my old way of handling myself and emotionally and physically distancing myself to the point of casually saying hi and bye to someone who I used to consider one of my bff's. Last weekend I began to feel bad. If this is my bff I should be mature and value our friendship enough to work past whatever I was feeling. It's easier to be mad than to admit my feelings were hurt. I attempted to work past all the stupid ish but my "friend" was busy so I offered to stop by their dorm another day. Earlier tonight I found myself once again in the same place/same time as this individual. I approached this person with nothing but amenity however I got a cold response. Fair considering how I had been acting toward this person. However, Twice- that's two different times- I approached this person tonight trying to put my pride aside and be willing to work toward gaining my friend back. Now how is someone supposed to act when you ask someone "can we be friends again, Can we talk" and they shake their head no and literally push you the hell out the way to the point that you have to actively work to regain your balance. So what did I do? I went from saying I don't want to drink tonight to steady taking shots- I was livid.

I truly feel as though I've lost a good friend and it sucks. However, it makes me appreciate the other really close friends I still have left. I have made some great friends and you know, sometimes the people you would have done anything for prove to have the biggest man-gina and PMS worse than you... *sigh* I'm friendly with the world but shit I can't give just anybody the title of 'friend'. I have a lot of pride and I don't readily put myself out there. Can I be blamed for falling back on old habits?? I say forget this ish- whoever can't get in step with me can kiss my behind- I don't do vulnerable. Like my Stepfather says, "When I die, bury me upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass."

Now that I have blurted out all my thoughts, let me find clarity in the situation and constructively articulate "the moral of the story". This in not the first discord of this type I've been caught up in. Romantic relationships, friendships, and even family sometimes are all similar in principle. Relationships are all about meeting people half way. If another person doesn"t have enough consideration for you to put in as much effort as you, then you are left with an unbalanced relationship that is bound to thus be rocky. It's frustrating to interact with someone who you feel is less invested then you are. That is probably what is so hard about my current friend situation- my other friends have been saying from observation they don't understand how I could consider him such a good friend because he hasn't been a great friend. They have told me for a while that they believe I am undervalued in relation to this person. I don't know why I was willing to open up so quickly but because I did I don't want to give up on our friendship. (How many people can say they've so much as seen me cry?) One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is being more attached to what you've invested than what that person is adding to your life. You should have enough self respect to let go despite whatever you have invested because in life we have to cut our losses from time to time. I had a point I wanted to end on but I forgot it. I'll say this much- if I pretend I don't care about someone it's either because they aren"t worth caring about or because I'm mirroring the same sentiments I receive. I'm back on my Fabulous ish- My attitude is celibate; I don't give a F**k!

Music: Trey Songz & Robin Thicke Ft. Nicki Minaj

I have been raving about Trey Songz for a minute now. Today my friend texted me after watching his I invented sex video to let me know she understands why now. This video is just extra sexy. Why aren't there guys like that at my school??? For your enjoyment....




I also happen to be a fan of Nicki Minaj. She is just the baddest b**ch. Luv her!! So of course I was listening to Robin Thicke's new song "Shakin' It For Daddy" which features the Harijuku Barbie when I should have been studying. Listen to it- it packs heats for sure.

Fashion: Fly & Fresh v. Grown & Sexy

I am a Junior in college and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I learned to wear high heels. The end of High School meant Prom, senior dinner and a bunch of big events, galas and balls. I found this beautiful BCBG dress to wear to prom and one of my mom's best friends told me "That dress is fly, you better not wear flats even if it kills you." I sucked it up and got these cute Guess pumps that I made it through almost all of prom without taking off. By the grace of God I went from wearing nothing but sneakers to wearing stilettos in a year. My heel game is fierce; however, my first love will always be kicks.

I'm not the biggest sneakerhead but living outside of New York, I definitely could claim that and no one would disagree. I love the scent of fresh jordans that are so crisp it almost makes you sad to wear them. One of my friends at school is also from Harlem and (god bless her soul) girl went bougie on me and she has no shame in her game. She told me I need to grow up. I was told by the time I become a senior, I have to retire my sneakers.

I've already traded in the North Face Book bag for a leather canvas backpack and I freeze my butt off in winter to wear a peacoat but how can I give up my sneakers. I know I can't wear jordans at 30. But it might just be too soon. On the block it's not an issue but at college and interning in a corporate law firm over the summer, sneakers are gym wear.... Does wearing a blazer with dunks qualify as a happy medium, an adequate compromise? I switch between Fly & Fresh and Grown & Sexy on any given day. It's only natural that my style will evolve but all I can think about currently is how I plan on pinching the already tight college budget for the new Jordan 60+ Atlanta Hawk Colorway. (They're in my sorority colors!) I got a Blackberry Tour a week ago and that was all in the name of being grown and professional, so for now I will just have to keep an even balance sheet.






Deuces,
Naz