It’s not a date…..

In this day and age people know each other’s whole life story and have only seen each other once before starting a connection via facebook, myspace, text, or bbm. Yet, expect to be treated like somebody’s something (smh). You have friends with benefits, which is different than jump-off’s, and not to be mistaken for the boo. If you’re really luck you might make it to wifey which doesn’t always mean you’re the girlfriend (i.e. committed, monogamous, and claimed). It is more likely to hear I’m “talking” to someone rather than I’m “dating” someone. There are so many technicalities and mixed messages. It’s hard out here for a pimp, indeed.

So I and my friend “Polly” (I laughed for about a good 30 seconds behind her code name and she knows why) have been discussing what exactly constitutes a “date” for a long time. She’s a firm believer that ambiance (we’re expanding people’s vocabulary here) i.e. setting, mood, atmosphere, vibe is the determining factor. Now what the h-e- double hockey sticks does that mean? The following are a couple examples of hints for the confused and clueless about whether or not when you and person “x” hang out, it is or is not a date:

- They accept GWorld*? It’s not a date.
- Your order your food and then sit down… it’s not a date
- There are more than two people on the “date”…. Umm, no sorry.


- The restaurant must have cloth table napkins for it to be a date.
- A candle on the table? Okay, a date.
- The other person pays…. Yep, a date.

For clarification purposes, these indicators are for the first few dates & not for people who’ve been dating for a little while. Example, Applebees works once you’ve established a foundation of whatever label you so choose.
A date in no way has to be expensive. There are restaurant that are nice and cute with reasonable places that aren’t chain restaurants like Friday’s. Creative dates are the best. A trip to the Zoo or a walk on the waterfront followed by an ice cream run is freakin’ adorable. Courting girls is a lost art if you ask me. I think Men these days don’t figure it out until they’re in the later half of their twenties. It’s a shame. Some people think they’re the exception, however most are the rule (watch “He’s Just not that Into You”). I’ll leave cyberspace with a few gender-neutral tib-its.

- No discussing politics or religion
- Don’t be stingy with the compliments
- No “you remind me of…”
- Don’t have me meet anyone in your life (no friends, parent, siblings, co-workers,etc. I’m not trying to be a part of your life yet)
- Be on time
- Don’t be needy
- Don’t monopolize the conversation


Deuces,

Naz