YESSSSSS!!! The semester is over and I can breathe. Having nothing to do never felt so good lol. I still wish I was in Costa Rica but, hey, everything happens for a reason. I have a new blog post ready to go, however I wanted to take the time out to readdress an old post. "...Brand New..." was written in a manner that wasn't as rude or out of pocket as i was feeling but was nonetheless written out of anger. Ironically, that week I made amends with three different but all close & important friends. None of it was intended and it wasn't until I thought back on the week that I realized how crazy of week it was for friendships.
The friend that inspired the first post came to my room the following day to apologize. I don't think they could tell you why I was ever so mad at them in the first place. Yet, I forgave them. I personally flip-flop between thinking he's a a typical butt-head and the notion that he's just still young mentally at times. You can call that me making excuses/ justifications, whatever.
Three days after feeling like the first friendship was in the direction of getting back on track, another friend met me at my house to resolve our problem(s). This individual did not do anything to hurt me directly, however they hurt someone close to me which they promised they wouldn't. I vouched for him and ended up feeling like a fool and questioning his character. I never had intentions of deadin' the friendship, i just needed to give him a piece of my mind. Long story short, he was so terrified to speak to me (complete opposite of his character)that it pacified any anger I had towards him. It's crazy to think that he thought I was going to dead an 8 year friendship that quick (then again he's seen me do it before). When you love someone you're there for them even when they mess up.
The third reconciliation occurred that Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. In middle school & high school I had one friend who was my partner in crime. We never fought about anything. Then, senior year rolled around.... After we worked through our first big fight (which almost resulted in me pushing her into the train tracks lol) we were at odds again. For the last two years the friendship felt different. Promises to be friends forever seemed to be premature and naïve wishful thinking. That week we made plans to go out to dinner and by the end of our 5 hour long conversation (that extended past closing time, then past Starbucks closing and ended in a 24 hr McDonalds lol) I felt as though she and I never missed a beat as we divulged all our personal secretes and laughed our butts off. I guess I haven't changed much in the last 2-3 years because she understood me exactly.
Some friendships are like supernovas- a massive and bright but quick explosion of a dying star. Truthfully, most friendships are transitory and meant for a specific time and/or place (ala summer camp). There are those few friends that stay with us for years and years. My mother has three best friends aside from cousins. One was a neighbor that she meet when she was fourteen. Another (her truest & closest) was a schoolmate from the third grade. The third is the second's younger sister. I've always been jealous/inspire (funny how that works) by my mom's friendships. Each one has served as a different example of what a life-long friendship entails. The first friend I described had undergone some rough patches with my mother that included a 2 year stint of not speaking. The second woman and my mother almost never have disagreements or get on each others' nerves. The third friend was the annoying little sister that turned out to be mad cool... Some friendships take MAD work and get worse before they get better. Some friendships are easy and natural. Then, there are great friendships with people who you have known for a while but you never suspected how amazing or deep of a connection you could have. The "moral of this story" is that relationships are messy, take work, and then still might not work out- you just have to be the best person you can be and attract people with that same mentality.
Deuces,
Naz
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