I am a Junior in college and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I learned to wear high heels. The end of High School meant Prom, senior dinner and a bunch of big events, galas and balls. I found this beautiful BCBG dress to wear to prom and one of my mom's best friends told me "That dress is fly, you better not wear flats even if it kills you." I sucked it up and got these cute Guess pumps that I made it through almost all of prom without taking off. By the grace of God I went from wearing nothing but sneakers to wearing stilettos in a year. My heel game is fierce; however, my first love will always be kicks.
I'm not the biggest sneakerhead but living outside of New York, I definitely could claim that and no one would disagree. I love the scent of fresh jordans that are so crisp it almost makes you sad to wear them. One of my friends at school is also from Harlem and (god bless her soul) girl went bougie on me and she has no shame in her game. She told me I need to grow up. I was told by the time I become a senior, I have to retire my sneakers.
I've already traded in the North Face Book bag for a leather canvas backpack and I freeze my butt off in winter to wear a peacoat but how can I give up my sneakers. I know I can't wear jordans at 30. But it might just be too soon. On the block it's not an issue but at college and interning in a corporate law firm over the summer, sneakers are gym wear.... Does wearing a blazer with dunks qualify as a happy medium, an adequate compromise? I switch between Fly & Fresh and Grown & Sexy on any given day. It's only natural that my style will evolve but all I can think about currently is how I plan on pinching the already tight college budget for the new Jordan 60+ Atlanta Hawk Colorway. (They're in my sorority colors!) I got a Blackberry Tour a week ago and that was all in the name of being grown and professional, so for now I will just have to keep an even balance sheet.
Now this blog post was not an original idea, it was suggested by someone at my job. The concept is very simple. I believe in being faithful and honest and all that good stuff. HOWEVER!! Should any of the following men come into my life, YOU WILL GET CHEATED ON.
Will Demps No words. He makes me speechless.
Michael Ealy Ever since I saw Barbershop, I had to know homeboy's name. My linesister performed with him this summer and it was one of the few times in my life I knew what it was like to be jealous seeing as how that's an emotion I fortnately don't naturally indulge in. Now had I not been working/ gone home for the summer my ass would have got to cheer her on and feast on all that is Michael Ealy.
Anthony Romeo Santos Romeo is the lead singer of this mega star Bachata group called Aventura for those not up on the Latin Music scene. He also happens to be the future father of my children. He's half Puerto Rican (woot, woot!!) and Domincan from he Bronx. He's got that typical BX Latino swagger I miss and love. One minute he's in jeans and a sweater and next he's got on a skin tight tee and dress slacks like the only Dominican.
Pitbull His songs have me convinced he's a freak.
Lil Wayne Lil Wayne is the least attractive and he's short (Love me a tall ass man). However, he is on this list for ne simple reason. I'm a lady (minus my pension for cursing, I blame my grandmother) so I won't say certain things directly but I sure as hell can insinuate. He has a song in which he goes LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA......
There are some fads I refuse to jump on board with- like Twitter. Then there are some that I fight but eventually have to accept. I have a group of friends who have decided that it is okay to wear bow ties. It has really been an NYC/tri-state occurance for a little while now. I go to school in DC- so at school only one individual subjects me to the madness of bow-ties, crazy colors & skinny jeans. I would sit there and with all my might try to convince him as he picked out his clothes that he could do without the bow-tie especially with a casual outfit.
The bow-tie thing drove me insane. Unfortunately it got worse for me when I went home for the summer. Here I thought one individual was merely on their next level fashion ish (like Andre 3000 meets Pharell). SMDH. I started to notice a whole bunch of my guy friends sporting bow-ties. To the point that I met up with them one evening after they had gone out to dinner and all but one guy in the group had on a bow-tie! B Rob's was even on a chain. I questioned them as to why (why, oh why?)and never received a satisfactory answer.
That same individual who I go to school with happens to be one of my bff's at school. His birthday was back in August and what do you think I considered getting him? Yeah, you guessed it, a Bow-Tie from BK Circus. I didn't actually end up getting him a gift (opps) But the thought was there- Now I'm supporting the trend. If you can't beat them join them? Ha.
There is no one experience more definitive to the human condition than Death. It might sound morbid and depressing but it's true. Two days ago my aunt lost one of her in-laws. His name was Nishit (knee-she). Nishit had Lupus and recently suffered from an infection that claimed his life at the tender age of 28. After slipping into a coma, he decided to return home to Portugal for the first time in four years to be with his mother. I called my aunt to see how she was doing and it broke my heart to hear her so dejected. Her husband/my uncle flew to Portugal to be with his family and my aunt is home alone. My aunt is not that much older than me and is more of an older sister. My grandmother's passing a few months ago compounded by a recent robbery and now Nishit's death has shaken her faith and lowered her spirits. I teared up during our conversation. It hurt me to hear be so negative toward life. It's understandable why she would question God's plan for her and for those in her life like Nishit. She wondered why those who do good seem to suffer the most.
I don't pretend to have all the answers or the most positive outlook on life. However, after being depressed because of my grandmother's death to the point of it manifesting physically, I learned to see life in a way that allows me to be at peace. My grandmother was the key figure in my development as a person and I feel robbed; she passed when I still needed her. Yet, most people don't get a chance to know their grandmother. I had nineteen beautiful years during which I was able to learn from her. We can't dwell on the time we don't have with people. We can only be thankful for the time God did grant us. Death is the only thing in life that is absolutely guaranteed. Therefore, the people in our lives (and our own for that matter) are on loan. They aren't ours to guard selfishly.
Nishit had begun recently to turn his life around for the better. I listen to my aunt's exasperated voice lament over how it wasn't fair. He deserved to live longer. Why should other people who do bad or cause others pain continue to live? I believe firmly that we all have a purpose in life. Nishit could have died sooner but, God kept him around long enough for him to turn his life around and return to Portugal to be with his family. Some people accomplish their purpose in 20 years and some take 80 years.
My aunt was half regretful that she chose to move to Florida when she got married. She told me she should have stayed and been with the family, stood to look after my grandmother. My grandmother was not sick for a long time before she died (only a month), my aunt could not have known she was going to pass. Hindsight is 20/20 but we act according to what makes sense for us at the moment. We can only do the best we can and have faith that things will turn out alright. No one should regret bettering themselves. I am the only other family member besides my aunt to leave the comfort of New York. They don't know but my family makes me feel guilty sometimes for so adamantly pursuing my career ambitions in so much that I'm not around very much. What I do is not just for me, it's for my entire family so that we can go beyond the boundaries of the typical ghetto Puerto Rican experience in NYC. You have to be a little selfish at times in order to better yourself. I want my aunt to know that I am proud of everything she has accomplished, which I know she wouldn't have if she had stayed in NY to be the dutiful daughter. Her recent bad luck is not a punishment, it simply makes her more amazing for all that she has done in spite of the rain clouds hanging over her these days.
My grandmother, Nishit and all the other who have passed keep company with angels now. Their influence on our lives are gifts for which to be grateful. Cry and be sad but also smile. Smile because you remember the times spent, the lessons learned, the inside jokes, the warm embraces. The memories held close are ours. All the people who come in and out of our lives each leave an imprint and for some of them we are the better for it. Carpe Diem.
Hello Cyberspace. It's been a long while since I've posted anything. My friend mentioned that she checked it yesterday and was disappointed there wasn't a new post and I promised I'd post something today. Let me start off by saying my ass is most definitely not in Costa Rica. Three days before I was supposed to fly out, some unforeseen circumstances left me in a shit hole. One of the concequences was that I was unable to study abroad. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason- in divine order. If there was any doubt to this- within 48hrs of finding out that I would not be able to go abroad, I had employment, a place to live and was registered for classes at my university's campus. My dad also had 3 days off (he works 2 jobs and so this had to be divine intervention)and was able to drive me and all my stuff down here. The representative from the university I spoke with was so surprised at how well I handled the situation but what is the use crying over spilled milk? When life gets chaotic- assess the situation and ask what can I do to rectify this? Trust me there was no way I was staying in Harlem or taking a semester off.
Now like any true New Yorker, I think New York is the best place on earth (or maybe within the US anyway). I always liked DC but somehow I've come to realize I really love this city and school. Being in school is way more fun than sitting in an office from 9am-6pm and having scheduled bathroom breaks. I'm a nerd so I don't even mind the school work that much; when you choose your own classes what your being taught is relevant and interesting. Since school has started, I've settled into another year here with ease. My dorm is on the money and even though books, stuff for my dorm, and what-not are expensive, my pockets are still full lol. As usual I'm really busy because I don't know how to just sit still- I'm planning events, stepping and strolling (yeah, I'm greek) and most importantly earning a 4.0 for the semester. Yo, I even got hit by a 18 wheeler that made an illegal turn. I had the whole side passenger wind shield and the front wind shield fall on me, frame broken in y todo. My life did not flash before my eyes, which was disappointing. All I could think was STOP!!!! that damn trunk just kept coming closer and closer to my face. I had a few shards of glass in my knee and scratches on my legs from all the glass that fell on me but was otherwise alright. Let me just say, God loves me. I don't know why but he stays looking out lmao.
Yep, Naz is back in the DMV (which is short for the DC, MD, & VA area not department of motor vehicles). I'm going to end this post with a crash course on DC from a NYC perspective.
- Metro: It's not 24 hrs a day- crazy I know. You also have to use your fair card to get in and out the metro. And the fair goes according to how far you go. By far however, the craziest thing about the metro is that it is extremely clean!! If you've ever riden the subway in New York then you understand why it's so novel to me. -Taxi: They have a fee for everything! They charge for each additional person, for your luggage- everything! During my freshman year they switched to a meter system which I appreciate. But, homies almost never get a tip. I feel as though it's included in those ridiculous surchargers. - Hair: There is no such thing as a $15 wash and set from a Dominican Hair Salon - Nails: $30 for a pedicure- $30!! I can get a mani-pedi for $20 on 116 street. - Pupusas: The majority of Latinos in NY are Puerto Rican like myself or Dominican. In DC instead there are mostly El Salvadorians and they make these things called Pupusas. They are sooo good. - Nightlife: I kinda prefer the low- key campus dorm parties at the moment or Greek parties but LOVE is the premier night club if that's what you're looking for. - Music: DC has this genre of music called GoGo if you watch ABDC then you know what I'm talking about. I hated it when I first came to DC and with the exception of 3 songs, I still do. Beating your feet ain't got nothing on Harlem/NY when we gets lite. - History: This city has so much history it's amazing. I stood outside the white house chanting on the night Obama was elected and got to go to his Inauguration. I jog past the Lincoln or the Washington monument when I go running. It's so diverse and amazing.
The originally intent of this blog was or it to be a travel blog. I got the idea from a friend who went to Brazil for 6 months and wrote a little for my university's multicultural student newspaper. I figured a blog would be a great way to keep track of my experiences as well as share them with others. While the thought of studying abroad still freaks me out (check first blog post) it is happening. In exactly 10 days I leave for Costa Rica. I will be staying with a family in San Jose and taking classes at the local university. I am participating in a special International Development program. Four of my classes will be based on issues of Human Rights, Justice, and other related development topics, while the fifth will be a Spanish class. Now this is going to sound weird. I speak fluent Spanish but avoid speaking it whenever possible. It's an insecurity thing like people who speak fluent English but have thick accents so they avoid having to say much. Hopefully, Costa Rica will cure me of that. I blame my parents who didn't raise me speaking Spanish. I use my Spanish only once a week (minus the curses and random Spanglish phrases).
I already received the info on my host family. My happy go lucky ass used to be extra excited about studying abroad and put no preference for everything. They even asked if we minded a widow- I thought "aww I can keep her company". lol. The only thing I requested was no smoking and that the house be close to the university. I can't go from cutting across Kogan plaza to an hour of travel time. My family consist of a 30 year old man and a 66 year old woman. I imagine it's a man and his mother. As a Latino I don't find it odd that the mom would live in the house. We don't exactly believe in Nursing Homes, ya dig? it's kind of disappointing however that there aren't any kids in the house. I really want to volunteer while I'm in Costa Rica so I'll just find something with kids I guess. Assuming the family doesn't try to impose a curfew (haven't had one since 15) it should be all good. Oh, and she better cook good food. Meals are included and my broke ass can't afford to buy food.
Speaking of money- lets talk budget. The government took a shit load more of my check than I had anticipated now my whole budget is off. Not to mention I'm going to Loehman's where they have these Gucci boots for cheap. omg, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it... but yeah I have to bring traveler's checks or figure out what these ATM fees are gonna look like. This is one of my top motivators for choosing Costa Rica- the dollar is stronger than the colon(?).
I'll end with a few tips my hard-headed behind has learned in getting ready to study abroad....
- Get your visa documents early so your not shitting bricks like me - travel light (how the hell am I gonna do this idk!). Make sure you leave plenty of space for all the things you'll buy along the way - Get a webcam. It's cheaper and better than calling cards - Have a passport, a valid passport - Book your ticket using studentuniverse.com It's cheaper than expedia, orbitz, all of that.. - leave a copy of all relevant documents with someone you trust stateside. - Get a Visa (pr mastercard). I refuse to live like those crazy backpackers that go through Europe and Latin America with breadcrumbs in their pockets. I want to climb mountains, go horseback riding, travel to remote beaches, not starve- the usual. This way if I run out of $$ I can go on living happily until I come home and have to pay off the bill....
Since I've scrapped my plan to run away to an undisclosed location (dead serious)- the next post will be from Costa Rica (unless I feel the need to rant on something).
Deuces, Naz.
P.s. Congrats if you actually read this whole thing.
The depth of my emotions is immeasurable. If tears fall, they are of the greatest joy. Where I am from hope is a luxury women like Sotomayor continue to allow us to afford.
The night Obama was elected me and my roommates ran over to the White House (about 5 blocks from our dorm) and rallied with hundreds of other students and DC residents. But that cannot compare to the overwhelming sense of pride I feel at this moment. I am a young New York born Puerto Rican whose first home was Wagner projects. Every obstacle that I have had to face and will continue to face to provide a better life for me and my family only seem that much smaller now. I get the opportunity to see a person who reflects me by both her heritage and gender sit on the high court.(?!?)I congratulate her and every Latina making strides to reach the pinnacle of success in which ever career field they occupy. On the flipside however, I can am a firm believer in progress. Progress only comes with hope is balanced with reality. Latinos in this country need to not only be strong numerically but also in their unity and their social standing. I won't preach too much but its like I wrote in my "Product of My Environment" piece- I come home and it is as if time froze, they're standing on the same corners and chasing the same hoes I see too much stupidity and apathy. Ima need yall to get it together. And those that do have it together need to not judge but remember to stay true & real by helping to uplift the Latino community. Palabra.
Ain't this about some ..... a gunman identified as 48 year old George Sodini opened fire at a fitness center yesterday killing three women and then himself. He walked into an LA Fitness gym outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, turned off the lights and fired off 50 rounds, killing three women before killing himself Tuesday evening, police said. The tragic shooting a result of Sodini's hatred of women according to the note left behind in his gym bag?!? He had a blog with "details his loneliness and longing for a female companion -- and his growing rage at what he perceived as rejection by women".
Okay hold on. First off I really don't want to go to the gym tonight. Secondly, Are you serious N.A.S.(if you don't know what that means, ask) Lorena Bobitt and the lady with the hot grits didn't even go around killing random men- they got their own dudes. Homie should of took it up with his ex. And well yeah you kept getting rejected by women. Clearly you're crazy & deranged.
Deuces, Naz.
P.s. Why in the dark. If Ima shoot at some men in the gym Ima save the beautiful ones. Lord knows there are some sexy men at Ballys Fitness. Then again, they stay ruining my workout. The gym is the worse place to get hit on, when you're all tired and sweaty, I get annoyed. If I was looking for a nigga it wouldn't be at the gym.
Allow me to reintroduce myself.....
My name is Naz. Some people call me Amanda but they seem to be far and few in-between these days so I accept that my name is now Naz (thanks Liz lol). Naz is from my last name but a little unknown secrete is that my last name is supposed to be Román. Either way, watch me as I build my empire. This deuce is wild.
