Sometimes You Just Need A Good Laugh

When I'm in a rotten mood humor is probably the best remedy (more so than any advice or words of encouragement). My friends over in Lancaster put me onto Derrick Comedy this past Thursday. I'm a fan of the Jerry sketch so I've included that particular video below. However, click on to the title of this post to check out their website.

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." William Arthur Ward

Don't You Hate When People Act Brand New?!

I have a very high emotional tolerance. My feelings don't get hurt often. For almost my entire life I kept people at an emotional distance so that they could never hurt me; to say I am a guarded person is an under statement. I have been very proud of myself since I've gotten to college. I've really allowed myself to open up to people and thus make some very good and genuine friends in a short amount of time. None of my current close friends and I have ever been in a serious disagreement because every time I ever got into it with one of my friends, I cut them out of my life.

I tried to express my discontent to one of my current friends and I kept feeling like they weren't understanding. To say 'I'm hurt" is impossible. (lol) So my discontent grew to passive aggressiveness. I found myself reverting to my old way of handling myself and emotionally and physically distancing myself to the point of casually saying hi and bye to someone who I used to consider one of my bff's. Last weekend I began to feel bad. If this is my bff I should be mature and value our friendship enough to work past whatever I was feeling. It's easier to be mad than to admit my feelings were hurt. I attempted to work past all the stupid ish but my "friend" was busy so I offered to stop by their dorm another day. Earlier tonight I found myself once again in the same place/same time as this individual. I approached this person with nothing but amenity however I got a cold response. Fair considering how I had been acting toward this person. However, Twice- that's two different times- I approached this person tonight trying to put my pride aside and be willing to work toward gaining my friend back. Now how is someone supposed to act when you ask someone "can we be friends again, Can we talk" and they shake their head no and literally push you the hell out the way to the point that you have to actively work to regain your balance. So what did I do? I went from saying I don't want to drink tonight to steady taking shots- I was livid.

I truly feel as though I've lost a good friend and it sucks. However, it makes me appreciate the other really close friends I still have left. I have made some great friends and you know, sometimes the people you would have done anything for prove to have the biggest man-gina and PMS worse than you... *sigh* I'm friendly with the world but shit I can't give just anybody the title of 'friend'. I have a lot of pride and I don't readily put myself out there. Can I be blamed for falling back on old habits?? I say forget this ish- whoever can't get in step with me can kiss my behind- I don't do vulnerable. Like my Stepfather says, "When I die, bury me upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass."

Now that I have blurted out all my thoughts, let me find clarity in the situation and constructively articulate "the moral of the story". This in not the first discord of this type I've been caught up in. Romantic relationships, friendships, and even family sometimes are all similar in principle. Relationships are all about meeting people half way. If another person doesn"t have enough consideration for you to put in as much effort as you, then you are left with an unbalanced relationship that is bound to thus be rocky. It's frustrating to interact with someone who you feel is less invested then you are. That is probably what is so hard about my current friend situation- my other friends have been saying from observation they don't understand how I could consider him such a good friend because he hasn't been a great friend. They have told me for a while that they believe I am undervalued in relation to this person. I don't know why I was willing to open up so quickly but because I did I don't want to give up on our friendship. (How many people can say they've so much as seen me cry?) One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is being more attached to what you've invested than what that person is adding to your life. You should have enough self respect to let go despite whatever you have invested because in life we have to cut our losses from time to time. I had a point I wanted to end on but I forgot it. I'll say this much- if I pretend I don't care about someone it's either because they aren"t worth caring about or because I'm mirroring the same sentiments I receive. I'm back on my Fabulous ish- My attitude is celibate; I don't give a F**k!

Music: Trey Songz & Robin Thicke Ft. Nicki Minaj

I have been raving about Trey Songz for a minute now. Today my friend texted me after watching his I invented sex video to let me know she understands why now. This video is just extra sexy. Why aren't there guys like that at my school??? For your enjoyment....




I also happen to be a fan of Nicki Minaj. She is just the baddest b**ch. Luv her!! So of course I was listening to Robin Thicke's new song "Shakin' It For Daddy" which features the Harijuku Barbie when I should have been studying. Listen to it- it packs heats for sure.

Fashion: Fly & Fresh v. Grown & Sexy

I am a Junior in college and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I learned to wear high heels. The end of High School meant Prom, senior dinner and a bunch of big events, galas and balls. I found this beautiful BCBG dress to wear to prom and one of my mom's best friends told me "That dress is fly, you better not wear flats even if it kills you." I sucked it up and got these cute Guess pumps that I made it through almost all of prom without taking off. By the grace of God I went from wearing nothing but sneakers to wearing stilettos in a year. My heel game is fierce; however, my first love will always be kicks.

I'm not the biggest sneakerhead but living outside of New York, I definitely could claim that and no one would disagree. I love the scent of fresh jordans that are so crisp it almost makes you sad to wear them. One of my friends at school is also from Harlem and (god bless her soul) girl went bougie on me and she has no shame in her game. She told me I need to grow up. I was told by the time I become a senior, I have to retire my sneakers.

I've already traded in the North Face Book bag for a leather canvas backpack and I freeze my butt off in winter to wear a peacoat but how can I give up my sneakers. I know I can't wear jordans at 30. But it might just be too soon. On the block it's not an issue but at college and interning in a corporate law firm over the summer, sneakers are gym wear.... Does wearing a blazer with dunks qualify as a happy medium, an adequate compromise? I switch between Fly & Fresh and Grown & Sexy on any given day. It's only natural that my style will evolve but all I can think about currently is how I plan on pinching the already tight college budget for the new Jordan 60+ Atlanta Hawk Colorway. (They're in my sorority colors!) I got a Blackberry Tour a week ago and that was all in the name of being grown and professional, so for now I will just have to keep an even balance sheet.






Deuces,
Naz

YOU WILL GET CHEATED ON.....

Now this blog post was not an original idea, it was suggested by someone at my job. The concept is very simple. I believe in being faithful and honest and all that good stuff. HOWEVER!! Should any of the following men come into my life, YOU WILL GET CHEATED ON.

Will Demps
No words. He makes me speechless.

Michael Ealy
Ever since I saw Barbershop, I had to know homeboy's name. My linesister performed with him this summer and it was one of the few times in my life I knew what it was like to be jealous seeing as how that's an emotion I fortnately don't naturally indulge in. Now had I not been working/ gone home for the summer my ass would have got to cheer her on and feast on all that is Michael Ealy.


Anthony Romeo Santos
Romeo is the lead singer of this mega star Bachata group called Aventura for those not up on the Latin Music scene. He also happens to be the future father of my children. He's half Puerto Rican (woot, woot!!) and Domincan from he Bronx. He's got that typical BX Latino swagger I miss and love. One minute he's in jeans and a sweater and next he's got on a skin tight tee and dress slacks like the only Dominican.

Pitbull
His songs have me convinced he's a freak.

Lil Wayne
Lil Wayne is the least attractive and he's short (Love me a tall ass man). However, he is on this list for ne simple reason. I'm a lady (minus my pension for cursing, I blame my grandmother) so I won't say certain things directly but I sure as hell can insinuate. He has a song in which he goes LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA......


Deuces,
Naz

Fashion: Bow-ties

There are some fads I refuse to jump on board with- like Twitter. Then there are some that I fight but eventually have to accept. I have a group of friends who have decided that it is okay to wear bow ties. It has really been an NYC/tri-state occurance for a little while now. I go to school in DC- so at school only one individual subjects me to the madness of bow-ties, crazy colors & skinny jeans. I would sit there and with all my might try to convince him as he picked out his clothes that he could do without the bow-tie especially with a casual outfit.

The bow-tie thing drove me insane. Unfortunately it got worse for me when I went home for the summer. Here I thought one individual was merely on their next level fashion ish (like Andre 3000 meets Pharell). SMDH. I started to notice a whole bunch of my guy friends sporting bow-ties. To the point that I met up with them one evening after they had gone out to dinner and all but one guy in the group had on a bow-tie! B Rob's was even on a chain. I questioned them as to why (why, oh why?)and never received a satisfactory answer.

That same individual who I go to school with happens to be one of my bff's at school. His birthday was back in August and what do you think I considered getting him? Yeah, you guessed it, a Bow-Tie from BK Circus. I didn't actually end up getting him a gift (opps) But the thought was there- Now I'm supporting the trend. If you can't beat them join them? Ha.

Deuces,
Naz

Keeping Company With Angels

There is no one experience more definitive to the human condition than Death. It might sound morbid and depressing but it's true. Two days ago my aunt lost one of her in-laws. His name was Nishit (knee-she). Nishit had Lupus and recently suffered from an infection that claimed his life at the tender age of 28. After slipping into a coma, he decided to return home to Portugal for the first time in four years to be with his mother. I called my aunt to see how she was doing and it broke my heart to hear her so dejected. Her husband/my uncle flew to Portugal to be with his family and my aunt is home alone. My aunt is not that much older than me and is more of an older sister. My grandmother's passing a few months ago compounded by a recent robbery and now Nishit's death has shaken her faith and lowered her spirits. I teared up during our conversation. It hurt me to hear be so negative toward life. It's understandable why she would question God's plan for her and for those in her life like Nishit. She wondered why those who do good seem to suffer the most.

I don't pretend to have all the answers or the most positive outlook on life. However, after being depressed because of my grandmother's death to the point of it manifesting physically, I learned to see life in a way that allows me to be at peace. My grandmother was the key figure in my development as a person and I feel robbed; she passed when I still needed her. Yet, most people don't get a chance to know their grandmother. I had nineteen beautiful years during which I was able to learn from her. We can't dwell on the time we don't have with people. We can only be thankful for the time God did grant us. Death is the only thing in life that is absolutely guaranteed. Therefore, the people in our lives (and our own for that matter) are on loan. They aren't ours to guard selfishly.

Nishit had begun recently to turn his life around for the better. I listen to my aunt's exasperated voice lament over how it wasn't fair. He deserved to live longer. Why should other people who do bad or cause others pain continue to live? I believe firmly that we all have a purpose in life. Nishit could have died sooner but, God kept him around long enough for him to turn his life around and return to Portugal to be with his family. Some people accomplish their purpose in 20 years and some take 80 years.

My aunt was half regretful that she chose to move to Florida when she got married. She told me she should have stayed and been with the family, stood to look after my grandmother. My grandmother was not sick for a long time before she died (only a month), my aunt could not have known she was going to pass. Hindsight is 20/20 but we act according to what makes sense for us at the moment. We can only do the best we can and have faith that things will turn out alright. No one should regret bettering themselves. I am the only other family member besides my aunt to leave the comfort of New York. They don't know but my family makes me feel guilty sometimes for so adamantly pursuing my career ambitions in so much that I'm not around very much. What I do is not just for me, it's for my entire family so that we can go beyond the boundaries of the typical ghetto Puerto Rican experience in NYC. You have to be a little selfish at times in order to better yourself. I want my aunt to know that I am proud of everything she has accomplished, which I know she wouldn't have if she had stayed in NY to be the dutiful daughter. Her recent bad luck is not a punishment, it simply makes her more amazing for all that she has done in spite of the rain clouds hanging over her these days.

My grandmother, Nishit and all the other who have passed keep company with angels now. Their influence on our lives are gifts for which to be grateful. Cry and be sad but also smile. Smile because you remember the times spent, the lessons learned, the inside jokes, the warm embraces. The memories held close are ours. All the people who come in and out of our lives each leave an imprint and for some of them we are the better for it. Carpe Diem.

Deuces,
Naz

Welcome to DC

Hello Cyberspace. It's been a long while since I've posted anything. My friend mentioned that she checked it yesterday and was disappointed there wasn't a new post and I promised I'd post something today. Let me start off by saying my ass is most definitely not in Costa Rica. Three days before I was supposed to fly out, some unforeseen circumstances left me in a shit hole. One of the concequences was that I was unable to study abroad. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason- in divine order. If there was any doubt to this- within 48hrs of finding out that I would not be able to go abroad, I had employment, a place to live and was registered for classes at my university's campus. My dad also had 3 days off (he works 2 jobs and so this had to be divine intervention)and was able to drive me and all my stuff down here. The representative from the university I spoke with was so surprised at how well I handled the situation but what is the use crying over spilled milk? When life gets chaotic- assess the situation and ask what can I do to rectify this? Trust me there was no way I was staying in Harlem or taking a semester off.

Now like any true New Yorker, I think New York is the best place on earth (or maybe within the US anyway). I always liked DC but somehow I've come to realize I really love this city and school. Being in school is way more fun than sitting in an office from 9am-6pm and having scheduled bathroom breaks. I'm a nerd so I don't even mind the school work that much; when you choose your own classes what your being taught is relevant and interesting. Since school has started, I've settled into another year here with ease. My dorm is on the money and even though books, stuff for my dorm, and what-not are expensive, my pockets are still full lol. As usual I'm really busy because I don't know how to just sit still- I'm planning events, stepping and strolling (yeah, I'm greek) and most importantly earning a 4.0 for the semester. Yo, I even got hit by a 18 wheeler that made an illegal turn. I had the whole side passenger wind shield and the front wind shield fall on me, frame broken in y todo. My life did not flash before my eyes, which was disappointing. All I could think was STOP!!!! that damn trunk just kept coming closer and closer to my face. I had a few shards of glass in my knee and scratches on my legs from all the glass that fell on me but was otherwise alright. Let me just say, God loves me. I don't know why but he stays looking out lmao.

Yep, Naz is back in the DMV (which is short for the DC, MD, & VA area not department of motor vehicles). I'm going to end this post with a crash course on DC from a NYC perspective.

- Metro: It's not 24 hrs a day- crazy I know. You also have to use your fair card to get in and out the metro. And the fair goes according to how far you go. By far however, the craziest thing about the metro is that it is extremely clean!! If you've ever riden the subway in New York then you understand why it's so novel to me.
-Taxi: They have a fee for everything! They charge for each additional person, for your luggage- everything! During my freshman year they switched to a meter system which I appreciate. But, homies almost never get a tip. I feel as though it's included in those ridiculous surchargers.
- Hair: There is no such thing as a $15 wash and set from a Dominican Hair Salon
- Nails: $30 for a pedicure- $30!! I can get a mani-pedi for $20 on 116 street.
- Pupusas: The majority of Latinos in NY are Puerto Rican like myself or Dominican. In DC instead there are mostly El Salvadorians and they make these things called Pupusas. They are sooo good.
- Nightlife: I kinda prefer the low- key campus dorm parties at the moment or Greek parties but LOVE is the premier night club if that's what you're looking for.
- Music: DC has this genre of music called GoGo if you watch ABDC then you know what I'm talking about. I hated it when I first came to DC and with the exception of 3 songs, I still do. Beating your feet ain't got nothing on Harlem/NY when we gets lite.
- History: This city has so much history it's amazing. I stood outside the white house chanting on the night Obama was elected and got to go to his Inauguration. I jog past the Lincoln or the Washington monument when I go running. It's so diverse and amazing.

Yeah, (*con cariño*) DC is my second home.....

Deuces,
Naz